Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
