Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
