The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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