look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize