So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I party with great urgency now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
