Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
