It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
