There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
