my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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