so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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