We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
