i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize