everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
