they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
