I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
