If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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