I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
