Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
