Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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