that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
