Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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