i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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