Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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