jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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