he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
