And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
how drunk are you?
Several
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
