White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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