Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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