Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
