I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
