i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's shark week go big or go home
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
