his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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