you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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