you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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