i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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