Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
