She's JV to your varsity
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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