I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you traded sex for a burrito?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize