I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
