Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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