yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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