sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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