i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
