i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize