he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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