i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
