you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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