Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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