My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
