My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
