Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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