Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
