think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
