come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
