Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize