You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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