I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
